Me: "Ponies!"
Y: "Those are horsies."
Me: "Ponies!"
Y: "Can you say horsies? Like ponies, but replace the Poe with Whore."
Me: "Hornies!"

Y: I'm not trying to dick on your birthday
Me: I know you're not trying, it's just your passive AOE
Y: What do you want me to do?
Me: Honestly? Change spec.
Y: What spec? Tank, where I take all your aggro? Heals where I stay home on the dole & pamper you? Or DPS where I did what I did and try to keep the team happy?
Me: Tanks tend to be bigger dicks than DPS. You don't need to tank me, we're meant to be on the same team. My self-HOTS are adequate as long as you stop debuffing me. And now I want to run a dungeon with you.

Ok so I honestly don't know where he got the idea I would want him to "stay home on the dole and pamper [me]," the giant drama queen, much less that such would be a real-world equivalent of a heal spec. But this has got to be the best, most geekiest way of having an argument ever.

Anyway, I bought myself a birthday cake and I'm waiting on a text from Tangerine before I take it and a bottle of vodka to the Zoo and hide out there til tomorrow or Sunday. Til then, Farscape. Lots and lots of Farscape.